that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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