GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
