You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
