Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
All I want is dick and wine.
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