So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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