Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
