so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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