Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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