whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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