Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
