so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
