super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
