Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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