We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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