did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
