I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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