Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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