She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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