i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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