A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
