it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
