dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do herpes really smell.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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