at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
