saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
