Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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