How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
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another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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