It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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