God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize