then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
