my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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