Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
