I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
