dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
