Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
wow bdsm is so cute
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
