When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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