I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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