Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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