So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
