I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
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5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
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We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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