if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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