anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize