Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
