dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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