Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
