if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
