So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
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I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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