The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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