I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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