Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
