"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
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Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
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I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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