So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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