he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
