Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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