I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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