I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
