your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
